Friday, May 18, 2007

1 day notes after leaving flatland.

i'm posting below raw notes i've made for myself 1 day after leaving flatland, partically because the it's suprisingly hard to write about life in flatland, but also because it think the fragmented writing reveales something about my fragmented thoughts in flatland. i might add that it's been really hard to summarize my thoughts about flatland - it's now four whole days being on the outside, and i still feel like i'm recooperating. flatlag is worse than jetlag. i'm tired all the time, partially because i'm not used to simple things like sun + walking.

so i've tried to sit down and write something cohesive, but it's just been impossible.

it's also really easy to forget about flatland. of course, i remember postcardish memories, but i forget lots of the little things already - maybe because they are details containted entirely within flatland, unique to flatland. life on the outside doesn't evoke memories of the things that made life in flatland unique....


1 day after leaving flatland:

my legs have stopped cramping while walking (even just ten minutes), but i'm suffering from sever flat-lag.

it's similar to jet-lag, but worse (at least, at the 1 day mark)

feeling the cramps in my legs, feeling my body remembering how to move, i realize now that i have left flatland:

in flatland, i unconsciously learned to limit my movements.

i learned to go to the bathroom twice a day, not seven. i learned to not cook. i learned to not move my computer. i learned to not reach for clean clothes (stored in a basket, amongst the i-beams of the ceiling). i learned to wait ..... the second week of flatland, i fell into an irreversible depression (which disappeared as quickly and uneventfully as leaving flatland)

i wonder: when i'm inside a [very rare and mild] depression, i lose interest and motivation for even the simplest things.
in flatland, which came first? did i naturally adapt to my environment by moving less, and that [helped] to bring on feelings of depression? or did i become depressed first, and learn to move less second?

food control:
by the time i left flatland, was really annoyed with all-things-food. somehow, especially when maria would ask what i wanted to eat, or what kind of beer she should order for me. this was about control (or lack -), of course: if she ever called me, at home in queens, and asked me what she should make me for dinner, and asked what kind of beer she should bring over for me, i'd be elated!

"wow, eva..... i'm having trouble writing, i can make notes, but i'm having trouble writing." eva shakes her head yes "exactly! exactly the same!"

fellow flatlanders:

i would really recommend exercising your leg muscles - both eva and i (though more me) have experienced leg cramps the day we left flatland - even after walking just ten minutes. i also feel extra sensitive to the sun, and like i can't drink enough water. but the leg-muscle cramps are something you can prepare for!

both eva and i have major flat-lag - it's like jet-lag, but worse! (maybe just psychologically worse....)

what is flatland about?

now, after it is over, the idea of 'trying to live 2 dimensionally' seems preposterous. to me, flatland is a psycho/social experiment.

i always knew it would be a social experiment, but i also thought we could try to live as 2D as possible, trying to achieve this unachievable ideal. as soon as we were inside, this illusion disappeared, and flatland became a psycho/social experiment.

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